Endings

Happy Birthday to Me

Yes, my birthday is soon. To celebrate, I’m going out to eat. For those of you who know me well, you know how seldom that happens. My sister had a German Chocolate cake from the market in the fridge, so I ate a piece of that. Two celebrations. Woot!

A few days ago, I drove over the hill to see my mother. She has lost her hearing. The difficulty in communication is an added burden to those she already faces at 98. I see this wearing away at her. There are many moments now that aren’t lucid. I listen as she talks to herself in a sing-song voice as if she’s telling a story to a young child or singing nursery rhymes. Then she’ll take a nap and wake up her old self ready to play cards. She still beats me half the time. I know these moments we have left are precious.

One thing that really brings it home is giving up our nightly sessions of M*A*S*H and a root beer float. This has been going on for more years than I have fingers and toes. Mom can’t hear the tv at all, no matter how loud you turn it up, so my sister has put away the set that plays the dvd collection of Mom’s favorite show. Mom couldn’t see across the room either. It was time, but a sad harbinger of things to come. Time is running out. 

I will mourn her absence, but not her passing. There is little joy in her days now, mostly pain and fatigue. She has lived a blessed, and long life, seen her great-grandchildren and played more hands of rummy than can be counted. I wonder when I hear her sing-song in the morning, if she isn’t talking to my oldest sister who died at the age of thirty-one. They have much to catch up on.

Advertisements

About Barbara K Tyner

A graduate of UCCS with a degree in English Lit., Barbara writes Children's Literature as well as mainstream fiction. Her popular children's series, The Badger Books, is co-authored with Barbara's daughter, Laura. Her first novel, "Wait Here, Wait There" deals with grief and Alzheimer's. Her second novel, Rhyaden, a middle grade fantasy is scheduled for release in Nov. 2018. National Parks, Kayaking, hiking, and snow-shoeing top her list of favorite hobbies.
This entry was posted in Grief, Inspiration, writing and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s