Father’s Day means many things to many people. To some, it is a day of celebration or great memories and longing for one who has passed. To others, it is a day they remember being abandoned, beaten, or abused by a man they are supposed to revere. A post on Father’s Day by my nephew and a few of the responses brought me to tears. I am reminded of my favorite movie, “Out of Africa,” when the character played by Meryl Streep says, “the world is round so we do not see what is coming.” How very true.
There are truly wonderful dads out there. There are dads who are mostly good and try, and there are dads who have no parenting skills what-so-ever, and what’s worse, they don’t care. They don’t spend time with their kids (all a kid really wants), and could care less how that affects their offspring. No wonder the world has so many problems.
If, if, if. – If I could go back, I would fight for custody of my nephew following my sister’s death. He was abandoned by his biological father at the age of one. My sister died when he was five and the man she was married to had begun adoption proceedings. The family let them continue. We didn’t know what was coming.
I was naive. I believed my nephew’s adoptive dad loved him and would therefore do a good job. It actually did go well until he remarried. The rest of the story is history and has two sides, of course.
I am not one for looking back, other than to learn a different course for my future. I move forward, move on, keep going. I’m an optimist. It isn’t that way for everyone. Some have a hard time not looking back, not regretting, not wallowing in the sorrow of yesterday. It is a waste of a short life (and believe me – the older you get – the more you realize how terribly short it is) to spend it looking back. You miss what is coming. There is good, precious good out there. Don’t miss it. As Maya Angelou said, don’t merely survive – THRIVE.