I had a painful talk with a mother of an adult alcoholic. No matter our children’s problems, big or small, solvable or impossible, we grieve for them. We love them. We try to help, but, and it is a huge but for anyone who feels guilt when they have to say no, it is not a loving mother’s role to support her child’s self-abuse.
This mother was barraged with hateful correspondence when she refused to continue helping her adult son who will not help himself. Every opportunity is out there for him to get help, but he refuses. Instead, he is using every manipulative tool known to man against her. It is pathetic and ugly, and my heart bleeds for her. I do not see a good ending. He will blame her until the end for the choices he has made.
Only a very strong person could keep from taking that blame onto themselves. Few of us are that strong. My prayers go out to all who face this. There are some really good resources out there, for there is always strength in numbers, and I would recommend Al-Anon as a really good first step. Even if you aren’t sure, especially if you aren’t sure what you should do next, find a meeting and go. The perspective of someone who has walked in your shoes is invaluable.
Summer, and the resulting heat have finally hit. I never do well in the heat. My days have shifted to early and late for outside activities (same time as the mosquitoes – unfortunately). In the middle of the day, I write and work on indoor projects. I started playing tennis again. That is so much fun, but definitely has to happen early in the day, before the heat. When I walk through the garage and see the box of sidewalk chalk and the little fishing pole, my heart clutches for a moment. How did it go so fast?
And so it goes…