The Loss of a Child

My best friend just lost her twenty-two year old daughter. There is nothing worse that can happen to a parent, nothing.

I already know there is no answer to the maddening question why. Why why why? The lack of an answer is so cruel. All a person wants is a little clarity, a little lessening of the pain, a little understanding. What comes is a void of hurt and anguish, and no answers.

Life makes no promises. I know that. Life has great joy and great anguish. We must not forget to enjoy every moment we possibly can with the ones we love. I know that too. I know that when my older sister died (she was 31), I was unable to fully comfort my mother because of my inexperience with death. At twenty-five and pregnant, I struggled with my own grief and could not comprehend what my parents were going through. I have a better idea now.

I hope that in some small way, I am giving my best friend some of the comfort I could not give my mother all those years ago when we lost my sister. I hope my mother had a friend to help her. I hope. What else is there to do now?

Quiet things soothe the heart after the sobs and keening of grief: a shoulder for tears and time, so much time. Each person must go through it alone, trudging through each day until enough days have gone by that a tiny mend appears in the tear. It is easily torn anew with the slightest memory or thought, but each time the tear heals a tiny bit stronger. Then a miracle occurs and the good memories begin to nudge away the anguish, replacing the unbearable pain with a smile and gratefulness for the time you had together.

About Barbara K Tyner

A graduate of UCCS with a degree in English Lit., Barbara writes Children's Literature as well as mainstream fiction. Her popular children's series, The Badger Books, is co-authored with Barbara's daughter, Laura. Her first novel, "Wait Here, Wait There" deals with grief and Alzheimer's. Her second novel, Rhyaden, a middle grade fantasy released Nov. 2018. Gardening, exploring National Parks, Kayaking, hiking, and snow-shoeing top her list of favorite hobbies.
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1 Response to The Loss of a Child

  1. Gudrun says:

    Thank you, my friend … I am blessed not to be alone yet I am trudging …

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