Answers Or Not

Last week was both horrific and absolutely a joy. I was in Eastern Colorado without television for six days – mentoring young students as they learned and developed their writing skills. What a privilege to work alongside dedicated teachers with those energetic bundles of potential! My hat is off to all of those teachers who work with our children day after day.

The horrific part of the week, of course, was the bombing in Boston and the explosion in West, Texas. My daughter knew I was without TV for news and she called to let me know what had happened. I am so sorry for the victims and their families. There is little I can say to be of comfort right now, except to add my heartfelt sorrow for your loss.

How do we make sense of it? We don’t and that is the hard part. When you can’t get answers to your questions it is easy to get stuck in a horrible fog of grief and I know this for a fact. We need closure and that includes an explanation, a motive, and a cause. What we most often get is nothing, an empty, devastating nothing. Nothing to make sense of our loss and the anguish of our heart break. Heart break that feels like a knife twisting inside. It hurts as much as a blow to the body. It wrecks havoc on our physical and emotional well-being.

Grief is horrendous, and yet the only way through it – is to go through it. Work through each emotion, especially the anger; know that those emotions are normal and will pass if you let them. The temptation is to hang onto those emotions and not move forward because it feels like you are holding onto that loved one and you can’t possibly let them go. There is no honor for your loved one if you don’t heal and live the life they would want for you. Answer or no answer, we must move forward.

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About Barbara K Tyner

A graduate of UCCS with a degree in English Lit., Barbara writes Children's Literature and fiction. Her popular children's series, The Badger Books, is co-authored with Barbara's daughter, Laura. Her first novel, "Wait Here, Wait There" deals with grief and Alzheimer's, two topics that are very difficult to manage in real life. Barbara volunteers doing school programs and speaking to support groups. National Parks, hiking, and snow-shoeing are in her list of favorite hobbies.
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