War (the Caddy Shack kind)

The war is on! I set the first gopher trap on the sunny hill behind my house where mounds are showing up like Chicken Pox. The snow and ice hasn’t completely melted from the north side of the house but here we go anyway.

It seems like I never catch more than one or two per year with the trap. They are mildly discouraged by smoke bombs – although on occasion they dig them up and give them back to me – poison, and those contraptions that emit the irritating sound. I don’t know if it irritates the gophers, but they sure do irritate me. I’ve considered hooking up an outdoor radio system that plays obnoxious music twenty-four hours a day but that might start a war with the neighbors (and I would honestly hate it too). A friend told me to put used cat litter into their tunnels. Cats are natural predators and they will move (sorry neighbors) from the threat. Ick. I wonder if the new improved litters that don’t smell so much will have the same effect? Feel free to weigh in with some advice here.

I read a posting the other day, “If you have a garden and a library – you have everything you need.” It reminds me of the old adage about teaching a man to fish. I have burned my fingers lighting smoke bombs, put my back out installing hail screen on the bottom of my raised beds to keep out intruders, lined the fence that keeps out the deer with chicken wire to keep out the rabbits – but I have a garden and a library, so I guess I can stay out of the home improvement stores because I already have everything I need. Good thing to remember when I go to someone else’s house and see something I want.

Caddy Shack has nothing on this place, but I promise not to use anything bigger than a smoke bomb – unless my house falls in. (Maybe I should try singing to them.)


About Barbara K Tyner

A graduate of UCCS with a degree in English Lit., Barbara writes Children's Literature as well as mainstream fiction. Her popular children's series, The Badger Books, is co-authored with Barbara's daughter, Laura. Her first novel, "Wait Here, Wait There" deals with grief and Alzheimer's. Her second novel, Rhyaden, a middle grade fantasy is scheduled for release in Nov. 2018. National Parks, Kayaking, hiking, and snow-shoeing top her list of favorite hobbies.
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One Response to War (the Caddy Shack kind)

  1. This made me laugh inside – in that knowing, been there, done that way. I have never experienced gophers, but most of us have something of the kind in our lives. Thanks for the entertaining story. I have no advice.

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