Two Ladders

Every once in a while, my eyes go berserk when I’ve been in front of the computer screen too long. I usually go work on something else for a while. The other day when that happened, I tried one of those projects that I am usually perfectly capable of doing, hanging  an outdoor bamboo shade on the patio. Not that the weather is warm enough yet for dining outside – but I thought I’d get it done before I have company and we want to eat breakfast out there.

My family loves to eat breakfast on the patio in the summer, however, the person sitting on the west side of the table is subject to being blinded by the early sun. My solution was to pickup a roll-up shade. Thinking logically, I assumed if it’s too windy for the shade to be down, it’s too windy to be eating outside, etc. etc.

I got out my drill, tape measure, pliers and pencil per the instructions. Then, following step one, I measured, drilled and put up the hooks. Now I was ready to hang the seven foot shade. Then came the first of two problems. The instructions said to pull enough cord far enough out to place under each shade. That’s it. Nadda. Nothing more. They forgot to say (or picture) from where you pull the cord or what you do with them once you pull them and put them under the shade. Huh? In actuality, you wrap them around the shade and insert the plastic knob in a small plastic receiver on the back side – but they forgot that small detail. Also, they forgot that when you flip the valance out of the way so you can see the cord to pull it, you cover up the receivers. I didn’t realize there were any until I found them later when I moved it and the valance flipped back over by chance. Ah ha! This must go in that!   (Made in China. What else need I say?) I wonder if I could get a job writing instructions?

My second problem was hanging the seven foot shade by myself. Remember the pole used in a high wire act? One end goes down and the other end goes up and vice versa. You get the picture. I eventually had to enlist my neighbor’s help for that final part, but we had a good laugh. Two ladders would have helped too.

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About Barbara K Tyner

A graduate of UCCS with a degree in English Lit., Barbara writes Children's Literature and fiction. Her popular children's series, The Badger Books, is co-authored with Barbara's daughter, Laura. Her first novel, "Wait Here, Wait There" deals with grief and Alzheimer's, two topics that are very difficult to manage in real life. Barbara volunteers doing school programs and speaking to support groups. National Parks, hiking, and snow-shoeing are in her list of favorite hobbies.
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