The Peace of my Silence

One of the life lessons I have struggled to master in recent years is my need to control things or fix things. I have been saying that I am getting better at letting go, and for the most part, I believe I am. Recently, another lesson presented itself and it took me a long time to recognize what was happening.

For the last five weeks, I have struggled with finding the words to help a friend who has hurt me. I struggled because I did not want to aggravate the situation further and I truly did not nor do I yet know what went wrong. I’ve had a lot of experience with my own adult children in which my words ( said with good intentions ) came out wrong and caused further grief between us. I am learning from that. I’ve also been saying that I have been getting better at keeping my mouth shut. Really.

No answers have come to me. No words of wisdom that I can impart to my friend. I have felt almost haunted by this for weeks, until now. I realized, finally, there is a reason no words ( and words are my thing ) came to me. I realized I cannot fix this, I can’t even help. All of the things I wanted to say in my pain, would only make things worse or not be heard. They would only hear me trying to get the last word in. I don’t have to. It’s not my problem.

I have peace now, in my silence and I pray that my silence will be a blessing to my friend. It is the final gift of love that I can offer. There is always the hope that in the future, the friendship can grow again but that isn’t up to me. My blessing is my acceptance of what I can and cannot do and the peace that I just let into my heart.

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About Barbara K Tyner

A graduate of UCCS with a degree in English Lit., Barbara writes Children's Literature and fiction. Her popular children's series, The Badger Books, is co-authored with Barbara's daughter, Laura. Her first novel, "Wait Here, Wait There" deals with grief and Alzheimer's, two topics that are very difficult to manage in real life. Barbara volunteers doing school programs and speaking to support groups. National Parks, hiking, and snow-shoeing are in her list of favorite hobbies.
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One Response to The Peace of my Silence

  1. Cherry Odelberg says:

    This is wisdom.

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