Give and Get

Where do we go from here? Is there a new set of rules after the first year? A person is allowed to feel however they want in the first year of grief but now the first anniversary has come and gone. Will there be some sort of magic now? Is the Good Fairy going to come and sprinkle magic dust over us so everything will be okay? Hell no. There is however, a little more skin over our wounds. Time has and continues to help. So, I am moving on and here too, in my blog; the focus will change.

Topics will vary as before, but they may be about the problems faced by the main character of my newest novel instead of mine. (I’m always looking for input.) Joy is universal, so I will endeavor to pass it along to you as it comes to me. Logs of my travels and the funny things kids say to me in the school programs I do will be here as well. Life is a gift of joys and the more I give, the more I get. I’m human. I want more.

I read and pondered the words of fellow blogger, Scott, about loving unconditionally. I’m not sure that the majority of us were given the capacity to love everyone to that extent, our family yes, but more than a handful of others is kind of doubtful. It is great when a person has a handful of truly life-long friends. As always, we need to find the right balance because friendship must be reciprocal. I think Best Friends are the ones you don’t even need to look for balance with, it is just there.

There are those special friends you can go a year without seeing and when you come back together is seems as if it’s only been two days since you last saw each other. But, we’ve all had the ‘friends’ that we tried and tried and tried with until we realized there never would be true friendship coming back to us for our efforts. Even worse are the friends who turn on you. That can be devastating.

In the Sixties, “love” was advocated by the Hippies to solve the world’s problems. Well, guess what? It didn’t work. You can’t love everyone, but you can respect everyone. I firmly believe that if everyone taught their children to respect others – and that includes those who are DIFFERENT, whether the difference is race, gender, sexual preference or religion – we could have a peaceful world where we could concentrate of making our planet a sustainable, hospitable place to live.

The Philosophy of Respect is not to say that we shouldn’t be rewarded for hard work and innovation but since when did helping others hurt anyone? That brings us back to balance. We must take care of ourselves before or in conjunction with worrying about others. I tell people to think in terms of Airplane safety. You know the drill: Put the oxygen mask on yourself before you put one on your child. Otherwise, you may be unable to help your child. Once your mask is on, you are free to look around and see who needs your help – and the more you give – the more you get.

About Barbara K Tyner

A graduate of UCCS with a degree in English Lit., Barbara writes Children's Literature as well as mainstream fiction. Her popular children's series, The Badger Books, is co-authored with Barbara's daughter, Laura. Her first novel, "Wait Here, Wait There" deals with grief and Alzheimer's. Her second novel, Rhyaden, a middle grade fantasy released Nov. 2018. Gardening, exploring National Parks, Kayaking, hiking, and snow-shoeing top her list of favorite hobbies.
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