Watching the Ball Roll

Good morning! I have a guest blogger joining us soon, Scott Williams, and he is an actual expert on the subject of grief. While I am an expert on my OWN grief, it will be entirely nice to explore what goes on from someone else’s perspective, someone who has training on the subject. Please join in the conversation too.

My mom and I talk every day. A recurring theme is “How do these days roll by so fast?” “This month/year is evaporating.” 

I don’t know how it happens, but for me, I do know when it started happening, the day I brought my first-born home from the hospital. After that, life became a blurrrrrrrr. The years began rolling by way too fast, and for all of my ‘fix anything mom-ness’ I was unable to slow it down.

Once in a while, I put the brakes on, but not for long. Pretty soon, I feel guilty if I’m not busy. It is a vicious circle. Time flies by when I’m busy. The grand-kids are growing too fast and I am truly trying hard to watch. My kids did the same thing. How did that happen? Where was I when they grew up? Some days I feel like Rip Van Winkle.

I took pictures, made scrapbooks, treasured the moments and still it went too fast. Mom says life is like a ball going downhill. It goes faster and faster and we have less and less control. For a person who likes to be in control (me) that is not a comforting thought.

In this last year of grief, I have learned to step back. I no longer need to be in control. I guess it is the silver lining in my case. Things don’t have to be done my way, in my time, or even done by me. I have learned to say, “No, I can’t do that for you.” I have anguished over the fact that I cannot shoulder my children’s grief for them. I cannot shield them from the pain but they have grown and matured from going through it and have come out okay, as have I. What a wonderful plan – and one that happens generation after generation. 

 

About Barbara K Tyner

A graduate of UCCS with a degree in English Lit., Barbara writes Children's Literature as well as mainstream fiction. Her popular children's series, The Badger Books, is co-authored with Barbara's daughter, Laura. Her first novel, "Wait Here, Wait There" deals with grief and Alzheimer's. Her second novel, Rhyaden, a middle grade fantasy released Nov. 2018. Gardening, exploring National Parks, Kayaking, hiking, and snow-shoeing top her list of favorite hobbies.
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2 Responses to Watching the Ball Roll

  1. Wow, with a sales job like that this guest blogger better not suck!

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